So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
