the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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