I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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