i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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