Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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