Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize