My first STD was from a foam party
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
