I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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