SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
only you would photoshop your dick
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize