Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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