I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
