if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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