PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i came on her dog
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
