she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
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He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
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We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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