I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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