alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
