Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
