drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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