Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
