Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
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I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
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See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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