You smell like a Billy Joel song
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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