Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
