So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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