nut hugger
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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