if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
