Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Randomize
