in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
In America we eat man semen.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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