It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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