My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
