She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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