Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
