So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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