i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
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