Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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