he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
