i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
