What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Couch. On fire.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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