How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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