the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize