what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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