they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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