dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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