Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
