She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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