Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
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I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
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He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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