There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize