I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
