i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
