My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
