We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize