my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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