So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
