THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
