And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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