Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
