It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
