I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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