i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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