why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
