Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
